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An Angel's Prayer
The scene opens up with the sound of car tires screeching and the car slamming into the bark of a tree, then silence
Hi, my name is Aiko, and I was born in Japan when my parents moved there from America. When I was 5 years old, something happened that changed me forever. I was driving with my mom and dad, and suddenly, I was in a lot of pain. Then the pain stopped for no reason, and I had a very beautiful dream....
The scene changes to a small, dark-skinned girl standing in a beautiful garden, and she's looking around in wonder. The sky is a sapphire blue, with beautiful white clouds passing overhead. The little girl laughs and is about to run out and enjoy the beautiful garden, but is stopped by two tall figures walking up to her.
"No, this is wrong, this child here is about 8 years too early!" A deep voice says, shaking his head. "She must go back, it's not her time!"
"But...but the accident, surely she was not meant to survive that!" another voice say, sounding a bit younger. "There's no way, I thought...I thought if I could have taken her right away, she wouldn't be in too much pain..."
The little girl looks up at them in confusion, then starts to cry.
"She must be sent back!" the older figure says, then turns to walk away. The little girl looks up and gasps in wonder to see him flex his big wings. She was about to call out to him, but the other figure steps up to her, bends down, and touches a finger to her forehead.
"I'm sorry little one, it was my fault" he says, "Now you shall go back to Earth, and finish your destiny there. Just close your eyes, and this will all be over,"
The little girl sniffs, then closes her eyes. She was about to say that she wanted to stay in the pretty garden, and she wanted to meet the man with the pretty wings, but she suddenly began to feel her body beginning to fade. She gave one last gasp before she faded away completely. When she was gone, the younger man straightened up and turned to leave, then his eyes widened. "Wait...did I erase her memories of here?" With horror, he realizes he didn't, and smacks his forehead
So, from ever since that amazing dream, I've been trying to find some way to go back there...to that beautiful place where I felt so warm, so protected, and meet those men with the beautiful wings. My mother says I'm being silly, but I just KNOW it wasn't just a dream!
Then....a few weeks ago, my head started to hurt, and I had to go to the hospital. I was told I have a really bad brain tumor, and...and I don't have much long to live. At first I was scared, but then I realized...perhaps the place where I was in was heaven and the men I saw were angels, and this is a sign that I'll go back there soon. But before I do die, I want to make sure I do good, to become a awesome angel just like I saw! I know it won't be easy, and...I can be just a bit clumsy, but I can do it, I know I can!
The girl, now older and looking to be about 13, jumps in the air with her fist pumped in the air with a triumphant yell, but then trips on her foot and falls flat on her behind. She laughs with her hand on her head, embarrassed. Unknown to her, the angel who had sent her back to Earth groans with annoyance and smacks his head. "Oh man, what have I done?" he mutters to himself as he shakes his head. The scene then changes to move high up into the sky, where the sun is shining and puffy clouds glide lazily across.
The all new novel, An Angel's Prayer, coming Summer 2010!
The scene opens up with the sound of car tires screeching and the car slamming into the bark of a tree, then silence
Hi, my name is Aiko, and I was born in Japan when my parents moved there from America. When I was 5 years old, something happened that changed me forever. I was driving with my mom and dad, and suddenly, I was in a lot of pain. Then the pain stopped for no reason, and I had a very beautiful dream....
The scene changes to a small, dark-skinned girl standing in a beautiful garden, and she's looking around in wonder. The sky is a sapphire blue, with beautiful white clouds passing overhead. The little girl laughs and is about to run out and enjoy the beautiful garden, but is stopped by two tall figures walking up to her.
"No, this is wrong, this child here is about 8 years too early!" A deep voice says, shaking his head. "She must go back, it's not her time!"
"But...but the accident, surely she was not meant to survive that!" another voice say, sounding a bit younger. "There's no way, I thought...I thought if I could have taken her right away, she wouldn't be in too much pain..."
The little girl looks up at them in confusion, then starts to cry.
"She must be sent back!" the older figure says, then turns to walk away. The little girl looks up and gasps in wonder to see him flex his big wings. She was about to call out to him, but the other figure steps up to her, bends down, and touches a finger to her forehead.
"I'm sorry little one, it was my fault" he says, "Now you shall go back to Earth, and finish your destiny there. Just close your eyes, and this will all be over,"
The little girl sniffs, then closes her eyes. She was about to say that she wanted to stay in the pretty garden, and she wanted to meet the man with the pretty wings, but she suddenly began to feel her body beginning to fade. She gave one last gasp before she faded away completely. When she was gone, the younger man straightened up and turned to leave, then his eyes widened. "Wait...did I erase her memories of here?" With horror, he realizes he didn't, and smacks his forehead
So, from ever since that amazing dream, I've been trying to find some way to go back there...to that beautiful place where I felt so warm, so protected, and meet those men with the beautiful wings. My mother says I'm being silly, but I just KNOW it wasn't just a dream!
Then....a few weeks ago, my head started to hurt, and I had to go to the hospital. I was told I have a really bad brain tumor, and...and I don't have much long to live. At first I was scared, but then I realized...perhaps the place where I was in was heaven and the men I saw were angels, and this is a sign that I'll go back there soon. But before I do die, I want to make sure I do good, to become a awesome angel just like I saw! I know it won't be easy, and...I can be just a bit clumsy, but I can do it, I know I can!
The girl, now older and looking to be about 13, jumps in the air with her fist pumped in the air with a triumphant yell, but then trips on her foot and falls flat on her behind. She laughs with her hand on her head, embarrassed. Unknown to her, the angel who had sent her back to Earth groans with annoyance and smacks his head. "Oh man, what have I done?" he mutters to himself as he shakes his head. The scene then changes to move high up into the sky, where the sun is shining and puffy clouds glide lazily across.
The all new novel, An Angel's Prayer, coming Summer 2010!
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Hey everyone! 
I just wanted to share with you the preview for my all new novel, Angel Beat! (now called An Angel's Prayer) 
Now, this is in it's earliest stages, and there might be some things I might change or add, so it's not "set in stone" yet. This story won't be as mature or "adventurous" as my other stories.....you can say it'll be a bit more "manga-like" and probably not as long...I don't know yet. 
But please, in the meantime, please enjoy the preview, and let me know what you think, and if you have suggestions and such. Thank you all for sticking with me so far....those of you who cared, and don't forget to stay tuned! 
I just wanted to share with you the preview for my all new novel, Angel Beat! (now called An Angel's Prayer) Now, this is in it's earliest stages, and there might be some things I might change or add, so it's not "set in stone" yet. This story won't be as mature or "adventurous" as my other stories.....you can say it'll be a bit more "manga-like" and probably not as long...I don't know yet. But please, in the meantime, please enjoy the preview, and let me know what you think, and if you have suggestions and such. Thank you all for sticking with me so far....those of you who cared, and don't forget to stay tuned! © 2010 - 2024 CaribbeanRose9
Comments82
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Heya!
There are still some grammatical issues and what not, but that's simple to fix.
It's an interesting preview in the sense that she is so young, she grows up only five years, yet for someone so young, it is a huge change and a dramatic difference in age and maturity.
With her getting a tumor in her brain, you definitely need to research more about how patients with brain tumors really are.
I feel that you should really emphasize her struggle between choosing to live on Earth or choosing to die to be with the angels.
Normally, someone would fight so hard to stay on Earth or just give up.
But, with her, there's a third option.
However, if she goes with the third option, which I think is the whole point of your novel, I want it to be clear cut as to what exactly she wants. Otherwise she'll just be a bit wishy washy.
I personally want a character who knows what she wants.
Though she is a thirteen year old girl. She can change her mind as much as she wants. Just try to add as much realism, imagination, and story building structure as much as possible.
It does have a sense of fantasy in this preview, but there is the very real and scary realism with death, especially in one so young.
Jut sit down for a week and decide what you want to do with the story and go from there.
Great concept!
If you need help editing, you know where to find me.
Good luck! [: <3
There are still some grammatical issues and what not, but that's simple to fix.
It's an interesting preview in the sense that she is so young, she grows up only five years, yet for someone so young, it is a huge change and a dramatic difference in age and maturity.
With her getting a tumor in her brain, you definitely need to research more about how patients with brain tumors really are.
I feel that you should really emphasize her struggle between choosing to live on Earth or choosing to die to be with the angels.
Normally, someone would fight so hard to stay on Earth or just give up.
But, with her, there's a third option.
However, if she goes with the third option, which I think is the whole point of your novel, I want it to be clear cut as to what exactly she wants. Otherwise she'll just be a bit wishy washy.
I personally want a character who knows what she wants.
Though she is a thirteen year old girl. She can change her mind as much as she wants. Just try to add as much realism, imagination, and story building structure as much as possible.
It does have a sense of fantasy in this preview, but there is the very real and scary realism with death, especially in one so young.
Jut sit down for a week and decide what you want to do with the story and go from there.
Great concept!
If you need help editing, you know where to find me.
Good luck! [: <3